Annabella Milbanke had a short, turbulent marriage to the 6th Baron Byron, more commonly known as Lord Byron, the Romantic poet famed for his work and his flamboyant lifestyle. One of his acquaintances prior to his marriage described him as “mad, bad and dangerous to know”.

So how did a much cherished daughter of a highly respected County Durham landed gentry family become associated with such a flamboyant figure?

The only child of Sir Ralph and Lady Judith Milbanke, Annabella, was born 15 years after their wedding on the 17th May 1792. It’s probably fair to say the arrival of a healthy baby girl was a welcome surprise at this stage in their marriage. Lady Judith had previously had two miscarriages.

Annabella, her nickname taken from Anne Isabella, was christened at St Mary’s Church, Seaham in August 1792. As a young woman she was educated in philosophy, classical literature, science and mathematics. Her tutor was former Cambridge Professor William Frend who structured her education in the manner of a university student decades before women were allowed to receive a formal university education.

As Annabella came of age, she often visited London staying with her Aunt Lady Melbourne and it was at a waltzing party in Whitehall where Lord Byron and Annabella first met. “Byronmania” was underway, with the first version of his long narrative poem "Childe Harold's Pilgrimage" recently published to critical acclaim. He was the talk of the town, receiving fanatical, and widespread public adulation.

Lord Byron was attracted to Annabella’s intellect and he was aware that whilst he enjoyed a turbulent lifestyle he needed to make a good match in marriage. Annabella was persuaded to send Byron some of her own poems, the persuader possibly hoping that Byron would dislike them. His response was the opposite.

He wrote to the persuader, Lady Caroline Lamb, a married lady who he was having an affair with, “I have read over the few poems of Miss Milbank with attention ... I like the lines on Dermody so much that I wish they were in rhyme… The lines in the cave at Seaham have a turn of thought which I cannot sufficiently commend ... '.  Lady Caroline was a cousin by marriage to Annabella and was aware of his growing affection for her.

Lord Byron and Annabella continued to write, sometimes meeting at social occasions. In Autumn 1812 Byron proposed to Annabella via her Aunt Lady Melbourne, but she refused him.

However the correspondence did carry on and they occasionally met at society events. Annabella was aware of his shortcomings whilst admiring his desire to do social good.

Lord Byron had inherited his title as a child taking up a seat in the House of Lords in 1809. Though not a frequent attender, his three recorded speeches focus on issues of social justice and reform.Themes often reflected in his writing. Critics compared Byron’s poetry to that of 17th century poet laureate John Dryden and the 18th/19th century clergy turned poet, George Crabbe, both favourites of Annabella.

In August 1813 Annabella wrote to Lord Byron from Seaham indicating that her affections lay elsewhere, though later she confessed the affections were fabricated. Byron wrote back saying he still preferred her to all others and that friendship was impossible “I doubt whether I could help loving you”. Annabella replied that if friendship was not on offer, “I will trouble you no more…”  Byron relented and agreed that their relationship was as friends, “If you will mark out the limits of our future correspondence and intercourse they shall not be infringed. Believe me with the most profound respect - ever gratefully yours. Byron.”

Their correspondence was often contradictory, and in due course Annabella made it known she would welcome a closer relationship. Annabella was known to friends as a thoughtful intellectual, in huge contrast to many of the other women Byron had been or was associated with. Byron nicknamed her as his "princess of parallelograms" because of her interest in mathematics. Many of her friends counselled against the relationship including a rival suitor.

Lord Byron wrote regularly to Lady Melbourne who had become his confidant including to some of his more risque behaviour. Annabella also wrote to Lady Melbourne, but in the context of writing to a beloved Aunt. Through correspondence directly with each other and some via Lady Melbourne their relationship developed and by Autumn 1814 there was an understanding with the announcement of an engagement. In spite of knowing Byron’s foibles Lady Melbourne encouraged the match as she wanted to deflect attention away from the affair Byron had with her daughter in law Caroline Lamb. She regarded Byron as a rake, but that marriage to a good woman would soon settle him.

In November 1814 Lord Byron travelled to Seaham to meet his fiancée at her home. It had been 15 months since they had last met in person. The visit lasted two weeks but came to an abrupt end when Lord Byron left after an argument. The couple reconciled in writing and arrangements were made for a simple drawing room wedding at Seaham Hall. Neither Byron or Annabella wished for a religious service. The wedding took place on 2nd January 1815.

The couple honeymooned at Halnaby Hall, the Milbanke property in North Yorkshire before returning to Seaham for the remainder of their honeymoon. Byron was inspired to write Hebrew Melodies, a set of thirty poems, to accompany music by Isaac Nathan, during his time at Seaham. It’s known from letters that Annabella and Byron took day-long walks along the seashore enjoying the wintry coastline and dramatic sky. It’s also known from later depositions in court that Annabella was miserable for much of their honeymoon. Byron wrote to a friend whilst at Seaham, that, “the treaclemoon is over, and I am awake and find myself married.”

Annabella had become friends with Lord Byron’s half sister Augusta, who was married with four children. She regarded Augusta as a wiser older sister figure and frequently sought her advice. They wrote to each other often. This was soon to change as Annabella came to suspect an incestuous relationship between Byron and his half sister.

The inevitable happened and by January 1816 their year-long marriage was in ruin. Annabella had given birth to a baby girl called Ada, a month earlier. She fought hard in the ensuing legal battle to keep full custody, which was unprecedented at the time. Details of the incestuous relationship between Lord Byron and his half sister came out during the legal proceedings.

Lord Byron faced public criticism and travelled to Europe in disgrace. He never saw Annabella or their daughter Ada again. He continued to write, penning works such as "Manfred" and "Don Juan”. He fought in the Greek revolution against the Ottoman Empire, losing his life in 1824 to a fever he caught whilst fighting.

Byron’s body was repatriated to England, to be buried in the Byron family tomb close to Newstead Abbey. His life was full of scandal but his poetry has endured, famous for its passion and philosophical view of the world. He remains one of the most celebrated poets in English literature. Seven years after his marriage to Annabella ended he wrote in a letter, “I was thought the devil, because Lady Byron was allowed to be an angel.”

Lady Byron, as Annabella continued to be known, immersed herself in social causes, including prison reform and the abolition of slavery. She lived in Ealing and was committed to widening access to education, founding the Ealing Grove School.

This philosophy influenced Annabella’s parenting, as she encouraged her and Lord Byron’s daughter Ada to be educated. Ada pursued an interest in mathematics and science. Her full name before her marriage was Augusta Ada Noel Byron, Lady Byron, after her marriage to William King, 8th Baron she became August Ada King Noel, Countess of Lovelace. She is better known as Ada Lovelace and is regarded as the world’s first computer programmer.